as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
