I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
