I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
