He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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