there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize
