my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
