im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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