i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
