What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Are my feet made of real feet?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
