His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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