i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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