I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
