What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
