Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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