i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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