Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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