we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
worst night to have a conscience
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
