have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
