And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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