Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Randomize
