dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
two words: eviction party
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
