omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
