im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
