I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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