he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
