I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
