Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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