So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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