either way he was missing a nipple.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
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