Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
