I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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