after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
