i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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