yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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