im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
