My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
