i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
When are your genitals available?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
