All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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