question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
