The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
True strength comes from lack of pants
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize
