You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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