This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
