Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize