So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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