I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i jhust puked up my retainher.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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