my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
it was like his penis was on wheels.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
