Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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