she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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