is wine microwaveable?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
