Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Randomize
