Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
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