idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
