I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
