Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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