I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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