he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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