Are we in a gay sports bar?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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