Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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