i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
