I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize