I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
So much rum. So many feels.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
