Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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