You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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