Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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