I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
he fucked my hip out of place.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
