My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
