She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
she peed on how many people?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
