I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
