Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
