I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
