i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I just had sex on a roof
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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