What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
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