I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
