he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
