We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
What a dumb baby whore.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Randomize