I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
