**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
